D-Train

The Breaking Point

2009-11-23T23:28:01Z

About a month ago, life was looking pretty good. I was searching for a new job down in Fargo, not finding much for $12/hr out there, but hoping that something would come in time. Work was getting better, with only a couple of hrs of overtime, no more than 2 hrs a week. I now that is something that I can handle for sure.

However, as many applications that I have sent in and followed up on, I have heard nothing back. I have polished and re-polished my resume pretty much every time I apply. I send follow-up letters about a week later reminding them of my interest. I have called and/or e-mailed with my follow-ups as well, but nothing. Well, I did get a thank you for submitting an application, but that is it.

Then, the overtime at work started to get worse. First, it went up to 4 hrs, which I thought I could do. Then, they hiked it up to 8 hrs after Thanksgiving! There is no way that my sanity can handle that, especially since they want us to do all the overtime on the phones.

And don't get me started with the phones. The calls are non-stop right now. There is no time to work on e-mails or follow-up on any other cases that we need to be working on. You are hounded by the leadership to try and keep taking as many calls as you can and no 15 min break or lunch break is really able to relieve all the stress and anxiety that comes with doing a job like that.

So, because of all this stress and anxiety in my life right now, I hit my breaking point last week. My doctor has me on an new anti-anxiety drug to help relieve all the stress and anxiety that I am having. While it is starting to work, being in public around many people is just not safe for me. Being in a noisy environment as well is even worse.

Back when I was in high school, when things like this would happen, usually I was be in a room by myself for a few days working on my school work. Heck, I would even eat lunch there. I just didn't want to face the world with all this anxiety. It's like when my grandma passed away and while I didn't go back to school for about a week afterwords, when I did come back I spent about a week in a small room working on my schoolwork by myself or until I felt well enough to rejoin my regular classes.

I'm thinking I may have to discuss something like this with my supervisor to see if this something that can be done, but I would want to do just e-mails. I really can't handle phone calls right now, nor can my brain, my body, and my emotions. I don't know if they would want to do that since I'm good at doing phone calls quickly, but I fear I will really lash out against an angry caller and that just can't happen. I'm even considering shortening my hrs as well. I need to do at least 32 hrs to keep my health insurance, which I just can't live without.

So right now, I'm trying to heal and get back to normal. How long it will take, I really don't know. However, Thanksgiving is coming up and I have a vacation: turkey in G-Town on Thursday, then off to the Twin Cities for the rest of the weekend. Maybe being with my family will help me out.

Don't believe everything that your e-mails say...

2009-11-04T21:55:19Z

So, this entry today is about what the title says: you can't believe everything that is sent to your e-mail address. However, this comes after getting an e-mail from the same person about the same untrue thing twice!

Let me start the story. A few months ago, maybe even sometime late last year, I got an e-mail from my dad. Normally my dad sends me stupid forwards that I don't care about reading, but the one he sent interested me because it was about the new $1 Presidential coins that the U.S. Mint was producing. The e-mail "claimed" that the words "In God We Trust" was removed from the coins and was encouraging everyone to not use them in protest.

However, this was incorrect. Just a few weeks before I got this e-mail, I saw in the news an article about the new $1 coins. See, the new coins had a unique feature to them: etched edges. What was done is that the Mint moved "In God We Trust" to the edges of the coin instead of on the front of the coin like every other coin every made. So any of these coins made prior to 2009 had the phrase on the side edge, just like the image below:

This is the Washington coin released in 2007. You can clearly see where "In God We Trust" are on the side of the coin. And this is an official image from the U.S. Mint about the Washington coin.

Another thing in the e-mail was saying was that the liberals had this removed. If that is true, then Joe Biden and the Kennedys aren't Catholic.

So, i replied back to my dad with all of this information from the U.S. Mint and included the above image as well. However, he is almost 60 years old and does forget things from time to time. That's why I was not surprised to see the same e-mail from him in my inbox TODAY! And again, I replied with the above information. It needs to sink in at some point, right?

I'm really surprised that my dad would fall for something like this. Besides, what does it matter if the words "In God We Trust" is on our coinage? Anyone remember that little thing called freedom of religion and separation of church and state?

Really, all I have to say is that there are some real idiots online. The avatars below pretty much sum up my feelings about this issue:

Thank you Edward and Toshiro for the explanations...

Change of location needed...

2009-09-11T21:51:15Z

So, I've been living in Grand Forks for over 2 years now and I haven't made any friends yet. And I think the reason is that there really isn't a scene for me here.

For one, the film scene here is terrible. Lack of a college with a solid film program and a local theater that shows rare films like the Fargo Theatre. UND does it's film stuff in the English department, which makes no sense at all. I mean, back when MSUM didn't have Film Studies, the film program was with speech and theatre, which makes sense! And if the Empire shows any films, which is not often, they show old films, nothing new. The Fargo Theatre gets new films that you would never see at the multi-plexes, especially documentories and foreign films.

Another thing that I hate about Grand Forks is that they still allow smoking in bars. Last time that I went to a bar with smoking, I got bronchitis the next week and missed work for a few days (not to mention that it took my over a month to recover and then I got a virus and was sick for a week). Therefore, since everyone goes to the bars with smoking here in GF, I can't find anyone to hang out with as I fear that I will get sick. And no one goes over to EGF to the bars, but then again, they have like no good bars.

Whereas in Fargo/Moorhead, both towns are smoke-free. All their bars are smoke-free. I would have no problems going to a bar after work for a drink, albeit a non-alcoholic drink (I'm on too much medication to be drinking alcohol). But at least I could hang out with people without the fear of getting sick. Now, there are a few non-smoking bars in GF, but who wants to pay the high prices (like at the bars at Canad Inns)?

Also, there is much more you can do on your days off in FM. In GF, about all I can do on my days off is get groceries at the grocery store and stay home and watch TV. There is just a lack of things to do here, mainly because of a lack in events that interest me and lack of places to go. I at least had kewl places to go back in college, like the museums and the malls (yes, the malls in FM are SO MUCH better than the malls in GF). Heck, they have better bike routes and more sidewalks in FM, whereas you sometimes have to bike on the street in GF (which I refuse to do).

But the most important thing is that I have friends back in the FM area, many that I have not seen since I left college. I know that there are people that I can lean on there if I ever need help or just someone to make me laugh or hang out with me for a bit.

So, I am considering trying to look for a job in the FM area and move back there. I don't know though if it will be possible right now as I really don't have the money to move (remember that new car). Plus, I would need a job that pays at least around what I am getting now ($13.15/hr, but would settle for around $13.00/hr). I need this much to pay for my loans, rent and utilities, and everything else I need, like food and clothing. Also, I would need a cheap rent; right now I pay $425 for a 1 bedroom that allows cats (not going to live without my Ai).

Hopefully, I can move back to FM one day. Fingers crossed.

Me and my toaster

2009-08-15T23:05:53Z

So, I traded in the "UnderAchieva" for a better car. Below is the car and me outside of Tastee Freez in Moorhead on Monday:

It's a 2005 Scion xB in a super-nice metallic grey. It has just a little over 40k in miles on it, but it had just under that when I bought it. It is much roomier and has better mpg than the "UnderAchieva." However, it doesn't have cruise control, but I think I can live without that as I don't take long trips. Oh, and my supervisor at work has already nicknamed it the "toaster." Then again, it does kinda look like a toaster.

I got it at Ward Muscatell Kia in south Moorhead. They were super great to deal with, plus our finance manager just happen to be a guy who grew up in Grafton and my dad coached him in football his freshman year of high school! And my mom used to work for his mom! Small world or what! So yeah, I got the "Spoiler Discount" on my new car.

So if you are looking for a new or used car, check out Muscatell. The staff is great and you'll find a great car!

Stuck in life...

2009-08-04T19:39:45Z

So yesterday I met with both my psychiatrist and therapist and they both said the same thing: I'm stuck in my life right now. Guess what? I totally agree with them.

My life is like this right now:

* Sunday - I sleep in as it is one of my days off from work. If my family is in town, I hang out with them for the day. If not, then I stay at home, watch some sports, check some stuff out online, and then take a nap around 5pm. I get up around 8pm, watch some Adult Swim at 9pm, do some stuff online as well, then head to bed around 1am.

* Monday - This is my day for any appts. It is also the day I try to get any overtime done if it is required for us to do. The last couple of weeks we haven't had OT at work, so when I am done with my appts. at 3pm, I'm a little lost on what to do. Usually I would run some errands, like pick up groceries or pay a bill, but after that, I don't know what to do. So, I go back home, watch some TV and hang out online, then go to bed around 12:30am.

* Tuesday - Get up at 10am usually, leave for work at 10:40-10:45am. Start work at 11am. 1st break at 1pm, lunch at 3pm (which I always leave work for and pick something up somewhere), last break at 6pm. Get off of work at 8pm and then usually go wash clothes at Busy Bubbles. Return home around 10pm, watch some TV and hang out online until going to bed at 12:30am.

* Wednesday through Friday - Pretty much the same as Tuesday, except that instead of washing clothes after work, it may be grocery shopping or running an errand or 2. Get home around 9pm, in bed at 12:30am.

* Saturday - Saturday is about the same as Wednesday through Friday, with the exception that I CAN'T miss my anime on Adult Swim that night. I always have to watch Bleach, at whatever time it is on (Adult Swim likes to mix it up from time to time), so I typically head home as soon as I can. The time I go to bed varies on Saturday, depending on how tired I am. Usually, it is no later than 3am, but sometimes it is later.

I repeat this routine every week. Same old, same old. And with my job, it is pretty much same old, same old as well. I don't get moved to any of the special skills here, and while I have applied for leadership positions, I typically don't get them. So I end up answering the same old questions by phone and e-mail with the same sellers or same type of sellers. And I never seem to get any hard questions from sellers that require some additional work; it seems that I get the easiest questions ALL THE TIME!

Basically, my life is a straight line right now. I need to add some variety to my life, but it's so hard when you don't have any friends where you live (I have no friends here in GF and I have been living here for 2 yrs). Plus, it's hard to find any group that I would really fit into (I really haven't found anyone that loves to watch anime and read manga like I do). I need to change my straight line to one with varying peaks and valleys.

So, if anyone has any suggetions on how I can turn my straight line of life to one with peaks and valleys, let me know. Maybe I will try them to see if they help. Right now, I just need to try something.

Social Anxiety Disorder...How I see it

2009-07-29T20:46:02Z

So I drew a picture of what I think social anxiety disorder is to me. Here it is:

As you can see, in the middle of the picture is a person in a small box. This person cannot leave the box they are in, but others can enter the box at will. However, once in the box, no one can hear you. If the person in the box tries to leave, they will get shocked or hurt.

Now, the people outside the box can enter the box at their will, but they actually don't even know there is a box there. Since the person inside can't ask for help or try to get out without being hurt, most people simply walk passed the box and never enter it. Maybe their hand or foot comes in, but it usually comes out of the box after a second or 2. And since the person in the box can't touch the walls, they don't dare try to grab the hand or foot when in the box for those few seconds.

If someone from the outside does enter the box and asks the person in the box if they would like to come with them, the box will break down and the person inside will be allowed to leave.

So right now, I feel like I am stuck inside a box that I can't get out of without some help, without someone to show me the way. Maybe one day I will find that person who is willing to come in the box to get me out.

Long time...for a reason

2009-07-29T00:02:10Z

Well, this is a long time coming, but for a good reason. No, it’s not that I don’t have the time or things to talk about (believe me, I can find plenty to talk about). Let’s just say that life hasn’t been the greatest for about a year now.

You know, I have never really fit in anywhere. Growing up, I was a tomboy with a love of sports, especially when I hit puberty and all the other girls were going crazy about boys and girly things. In junior high, I was in love with the Beatles when no one else was. As I started high school, I fell in love with anime and manga, but kept that a secret until I was a senior. And being that I went to a small school, there was really no one that liked anime and manga.

So, I really didn’t have a group that I could belong to when I was growing up. And because of that, I didn’t have any friends growing up as I either couldn’t make them because we had nothing in common, or they would reject me because I was into things that they deemed to be “weird.”

Recently, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. It’s not a surprise, especially since I’ve been in Grand Forks for 2 yrs now and I don’t have a single friend that I hang out with on a regular basis. I’m super scared to talk to people I don’t know and feel awkward in social situations (like our company holiday party, I left early because I was too afraid to talk to anyone, and these were people I work with).

When I started college, I had social anxiety disorder because I had no friends, sat by myself during class and in the dining hall, and had a hard time talking to people that I needed to talk to (like my professors). Eventually, as time went on, I started to meet people and gained some friends. I joined some clubs on campus, especially the film club (I do have a BA in Film Studies), and further made friends. I had a little easier of a time talking to people I didn’t even know. By the time I finished college, I had some really good friends and felt bad that I had to leave them behind when I moved back home to help my family out.

When my family no longer needed my assistance, I started to look for a job. I had a crappy one at a hotel for awhile, but eventually I got a good paying job with Amazon.com. I did start making some friends there, but some bad experiences with some fellow associates left me afraid to talk to others around me and get to know them. Therefore, social anxiety disorder started to come back.

In August, 2008, I started to get very depressed. By September, I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. I didn’t want to go to work, nor did I want to do much of anything. My life was in turmoil and I needed help (and a vacation).

So at the end of September, my dad and I went to the Twin Cities for a weekend and by November I was back into therapy to work out my issues. While therapy has been good for me, I’m still extremely scared of social situations. I’m afraid to go to places where people my age hang out, but since most of them are bars with smoking I just don’t like going there for health reasons.

I was in some clubs in college that helped keep me busy and I was able to meet new people and hang out with my friends. I would love to find clubs that I could belong to now that I am out of college, but all there seems to be are clubs for older people or for things I have no interest in. Where is the film club? Where is the anime club (I never joined the anime club in college because they were all English majors and they kind of looked down at everyone else)?

I just hope that one day I will find a group for me again. I had one in college, but I haven’t been in college for 3 yrs now and don’t have any plans on going back right now. Sometimes, I just want someone to hold my hand and show me the way.

A Day at the Movies

2008-07-29T05:00:48Z

Ah, yesterday was so nice. My parents and little brother came down for the day and hung out with me. We had a nice lunch at the Texas Roadhouse, which all of us really liked (especially me, since I walked away with some leftovers from my pulled pork dinner; it's HUGE for $9). Then we drove around a bit before going to a movie at the new River Cinema in EGF. We decided on seeing WALL-E (and I can't say no to a Pixar film) and we really loved the theater. Then we did some shopping at Wal-mart, had supper, and they dropped me off at my apartment and went back to G-Town.

It's been a really long time since I went to a film. I usually don't go because I need to save my money and it's cheaper to wait for the DVD to come out and then rent it or borrow it from someone. But I think I just might have to go to the movies more often now after going to River Cinema.

Now, River Cinema is a 12-plex theater located inside the Riverwalk Center in East Grand Forks. After the major business left the mall, they needed to bring something back in to keep the mall up and running. So, a local theater owner who owns a few small theaters in the towns surrounding Grand Forks proposed to open up a larger theater in the mall. The city council decided to go with it and I bet they are glad they did.

When you walk into the theater, which is quite a nice sized lobby, you get the feeling that you are in a log cabin in the woods somewhere. The walls are covered with natural wood logs and that theme carries on to many of the fixtures in the theater. The front counter has flat screen TVs that show the different snack specials and the movie times as well. There are flat screens that show customers the way to the correct theater as well. As for the bathrooms, they are well lit and very clean with very private stalls. They even have a couple of Xcelorator hand dryers, you know, the ones that make your skin move because they blow like a hurricane. The staff at the theater is mainly high school and college kids, but they are very nice and super helpful.

You purchase your tickets and snacks all at the front counter, so no need to get your ticket first them your popcorn. No ticket costs over $6.50 and the snacks are decently priced as well. They offer a good selection of snacks, including pizza and candy. And if you're in need of cooling down, you can get an Icee. As for the pop, no matter what size you choose, you fill your own cup and you get free refills. And with large popcorn, you get free refills as well. FREE REFILLS!

Now, the actual theaters themselves compare to most other theaters in size at plexes. The seats are elevated as well. However, here's the kicker: the seats are all stadium style that rock back and the armrests are movable. And don't get me started on the DTS sound sound system! Even with WALL-E, the sound was amazing!

They stage the start and end times of the films really well, so that no 2 films are getting out at the same time. Then again, you don't have to go out via some side door; you just make your way back to the lobby and go out through the front exit. This way, if you lose your party, you can always tell them to meet you out front!

This place is also a great place for birthday parties or some other kind of get together. They have a couple of party/family rooms for gatherings, complete with seating and tables. They are in the same area of the theaters that they show the majority of the family films, since it's families using the rooms.

As for R-rated movies, they make you show ID in order to get in, and if someone is under 17, they make sure they are with a parent/guardian. Now, you just don't show ID at the counter when you purchase your ticket, you do have to show both your ID and ticket when entering the theater the film is in itself. They also keep two theaters open in their own section for these films as well, which for sure helps with controlling which customers get in.

As for the films they show, they get many of the new releases. Sometimes, they actually have a hard time keeping some movies around because they want to show as many new releases as possible. But they must be doing something right if WALL-E was still popular enough to be there and making them money. Although, I do think many of the moviegoers were going to see either Stepbrothers (which looks so stupid funny) or The Dark Knight (which scares me a little in the previews).

Another cool thing about River Cinema is that they have been doing midnight showing during this summer, and it's not just one film they do. For example, on July 31st, they will be showing the new Mummy film at midnight and 12:05, and Swing Vote at midnight as well. No doubt with the bigger films this summer they have done some good business with the midnight showings.

So, the next time you're in Grand Forks and want to see a movie, check out River Cinema 12 first. Most likely, just like me, you are going to find that it is a much nicer theater than the Carmike 10 or many other large theaters you've been to in the past.

If you would like to know more about River Cinema, visit their website - Just Click Here!

In FM Area Next Sunday (June 29th) and Monday (June 30th)

2008-06-23T07:18:11Z

I just want everyone to know that I will be coming down to the Fargo/Moorhead area next Sunday, June 29th, and will be staying until Monday, June 30th. My brother has been wanting for over 2 years now to go back to the FM area and stay overnight in a hotel. He wanted to stay in the hotel that we stayed at for one of my cousin's weddings, which is the Comfort Inn just east of West Acres and I-29.

I'm not sure yet at what time my family and I will be getting into FM on Sunday and leaving on Monday, but I think will be stay awhile in FM on Monday after checking out of the hotel.

I would really love to get together with any of my friends that are still in the FM area. I haven't seen many of you guys since I left back in August of '06 after finishing college and moving back home. If gas didn't cost so much, I would so try to come down more often, but with loans and bills to pay, I need to save as much money as I can.

So, if anyone wants to meet up, send me a message. Doing it on Facebook would be the best, as I do check it at least two or three times a day. My e-mail address is listed on Facebook as well and you can contact me that way as well. Just don't give my cell phone a ring as I never answer to a number I don't know and I hate getting a voice mail.

Maybe getting together at Fryn' Pan for some good food (god, I miss that place; wish there was one in GF) or one of the coffee shops would be great. I just have to say no to any place where smoking is allowed as the last time I went to a bar that allowed smoking, 2 days later I had bronchitis and missed 2 days of work.

So yeah, drop me a line before Saturday so we can finalize things! Love to see all of you!

It's sentimental...

2008-06-06T05:48:21Z

Well, I'm just so busy nowadays I keep forgetting to update this little thing. But I think it's about time for me to start doing some righting again.

So lately, here in eastern North Dakota, it's been raining lately. Sometimes it's just a slow trickle, other times it's a heavy downpour with lightning and thunder. I notice that a lot of the people that I with aren't wearing something to protect them from the rain or using an umbrella. Of course, I make sure to have something with a hood on it or my umbrella because I don't like to get rained on (too many nasty chemicals in those raindrops nowadays).

Now, my umbrella isn't any normal umbrella. No, it isn't something simple, like one of those mini umbrellas or cane handle umbrellas. Nope, I have a Powerpuff Girls umbrella. To be exact it is actually opens up and is Bubble's head, with Bubbles herself as the handle.

So you are probably asking why I use this umbrella. Well, one reason is because it is very strong when the wind, mainly because of its shape and that it is not a mini umbrella. I've actually gotten a few mini umbrellas that I would keep in my car or, back in college, my backpack, but the wind eventually broke them.

The other reason I still use this umbrella is for sentimental reasons. You see, my sister gave me that umbrella for Christmas during my senior year in high school. Since I was going off to college next year, she knew that I would need an umbrella, especially since I would be doing a good amount of walking around campus from the dorms to the union to the academic buildings. Being she's been in college before, she knows what it's like to be caught in a downpour. Heck, she told me after I opened it up that I would need it in college.

I used it a bit during my senior year of high school, but not enough for people to actually remember that was my umbrella and make fun of me. But in college, people loved the umbrella and was amazed that I had the guts to use it when it rained. When I worked at McDonald's during college, on the days it did rain and the manager had to do a walk around the lot, I would try to convince them to use my umbrella. I think I got a couple of them to do it.

And I have been using it this last week as well. Some of my co-workers like my umbrella, but I think some people upstairs in Customer Service or Phone Sales may think I'm a little weird. Then again, most everyone that works in Seller Support is a little weird.

Believe it or not, my umbrella did break once, but thanks to some duct take, I was able to fix it and it works just as good as before. And duct tape works great on the couple of holes that have appeared over the years of use.

My relationship with my sister hasn't been the greatest in the last couple of years and it hurts. I regret some of what has happened with our relationship, but some of what was done needed to be done. One day I hope we can mend our wounds and have a great relationship again.

In the meantime, I'll continue to use the umbrella and remember the good times.

It's That Time Of Year Again...

2008-02-12T23:16:27Z

Yep, it's the time of year when you start seeing Grand Forks high school boys sporting bleach blonde hair. Yep, it's North Dakota high school hockey playoff time.

Now, the thing I want to know is this: why do these guys think it's such a great tradition to get a bottle of bleach and mess up their hair? I always thought back when I was in high school that these guys were f'ing ugly with the blonde look! The look just doesn't suit hockey players whatsoever. Then it's even worse if they have long hair and even more worse if they have long, curly hair!

So this is why I'm glad that the guys on the Grafton-Park River Spoilers hockey team don't "hit the bottle" you could say. I actually thought it was great last year that they all shaved their heads just to be more like their head coach! But for Grafton-Park River, you still can't go wrong with long, unbleached hair, even long, curly, unbleached hair is ok with me.

So, no matter what the standings say, GPR is still #1 in the East, not those blonde ladies at Red River. Good luck in the tourneys this year and kick some butt!

P.S.

Anyone want to start a charity drive to collect brown hair dye to give to the Red River bleach blondes?

Recent News...

2008-01-07T07:11:35Z

So I haven't updated in a long time, but when life is busy, you don't have much time to update. But, I'm a little bored right now (seriously, there is nothing on the TV and all my cat wants to do is play with my feet, which I really don't like as it tickles), so I thought that I would do a little update.

So here we go!

I'm still working at Amazon.com and enjoying it. There seems to be a new challenge for me every week, so I get kept on my toes (which is what I want with a job). Right now is the busiest time of year for Seller Support as it is Textbook season. Tons of new people are selling their textbooks right now and with all those new sellers, there are tons of questions from them. So yeah, I'm keeping busy at work.
Judah stayed with my parents from July to December this year. His dad Brian flew in on Dec. 23rd to ND and flew back on Christmas Eve with Judah to Colorado. My sister got a place of her own, and Brian moved to a new place as well. Tawny took Koda with her and Brian decided to have Tigi with him (besides, he loves that dog). Brian is mainly taking care of Judah and Tawny has him on the weekends and some nights. I hope they are able to work everything out this time and Judah only comes for a short vacation next time he's in ND.
Ai is a pretty busy cat, then again, she's young. She has filled out a bit since I got her, but she was tiny when i got her (dad, she is not chunky). She has a thing for toilet paper, so if I leave it out, she will tear it up. She has been to Grafton and funny thing, she was the first one to hiss when her and Bjorn met! Yeah, so they won't be friends anytime soon.

Lastly, last week was a pretty crazy week for me. I thought that it would be a nice easy New Year's, especially since I had New Year's Day off from work, but in the end it was a week of mourning with some friends I haven't seen in more than a year and a half. One of my film professors, as well as my college adviser, passed away just before New Year's from some complications of cancer. I had no idea he was sick so it was a big shock for me. I found out about his passing from a group that one of my friends from college created in memory of him on New Year's Day. Even though my parents and brother came down to GF on New Year's, I just didn't feel up to meeting up with them for supper.

I really had a hard time going to work on Jan. 2nd, but I had no choice. Luckily, my supervisor said that I could take Friday off to go to the funeral and I was glad for that. It was a little weird that something this sad got all of us students back together. Why couldn't of it been a marriage or something good?

We're all still trying to come to terms with it and it may take a good time for most of us to do that, especially those of us that were able to make it to the funeral. I've been out of the film life for awhile, but that's what happens when you choose something like your family over what you want to do with your life. But guess what: my friends from my days in college are my second family and I really need to get back in touch with them.

So, don't be surprised to see me a little more in Fargo/Moorhead this year because I do want to get a little more into film this year. I'm for sure to make it to the film fest this year as well, even if it just for one day.

Well, I'm getting a little sleepy and I do have to wash clothes tomorrow, so I'm off. Talk to y'all later!

Long time no see!

2007-10-26T04:10:00Z

So yeah, I've been busy with work and all that jazz. I mean, it can get crazy working 40 hours a week and most of that time you're listening to people complain! But I can handle it as long as I keep getting that sweet pay...

Well, I have been thinking a lot about my days back in Fargo/Moorhead and I'm kinda missing the place. Sure, Grand Forks is great as well, but I still have friends in the FM area and I haven't seen any of them in over a year! I just haven't had time to make it down to FM in a long time.

Another thing that I really have missed this year about FM is going to the Tastee Freeze for a yummy treat. Most likely they'll be closing on Nov. 1st if they haven't yet, but man, I just miss riding my bike there and getting some ice cream.

Oh, and do not get me started on the Fryn' Pan. Seriously, their fish burger and sour cream raisin pie has been calling my name for such a long time now! They're building a Denny's here in GF, but they still need a Fryn' Pan because it is so much better than a Denny's and a Perkin's any day!

So I may think about going up to the FM area on one of my days off soon just to visit with some friends and chow down on some good food.

Car Troubles...and Meet Ai!

2007-09-05T22:48:13Z

First, my car broke down and it really sucks. It just stopped running on Sunday after I finished up washing my clothes. It just wouldn't start. Oh well, I hope the mechanic finds out what is wrong (because I hate not being able to go anywhere).

Yep, I decided to get a pet and I went with a cat. I just fell in love with this little black and white female that was at the humane society and I just had to make her mine!

So, let me introduce you all to my new cat, Ai!

Please excuse the quality of the images, I took them with my lousy camera phone.

And one more....

Bet you are wondering about her name. Well, Ai is Japanese for "love", and when I first met her and held her, she started rubbing against me and purring. She was just so happy and I fell in love with her! Besides, I didn't like the name she was given by the staff at the humane society (Tink, I don't think so).

Well, there you go. That's Ai. Now only if she wouldn't go so crazy in the morning and wait me up...

Lunch Break!...and I need a pet!

2007-08-21T22:56:40Z

So I'm on my lunch break right now (although it's actually supper time, but I don't start work until 1:00pm), so I'm taking some time to update.

I'm getting a little lonely living by myself now. I thought it would be great to be alone, but with Judah in Grafton right now, I really don't like being by myself. So naturally, I'm looking at getting a pet.

I don't think I'm ready for a cat yet, even though I really would like one, so I may settle for something smaller, like a hamster or guinea pig. However, I know if I do get one of these pets, my mom may never let me come home with it (actually, she would, she just wouldn't want the animal near her).

So later this week, I'm going to go pet shopping and look for a small pet that I can still have an interaction with and that I can pet when I'm sitting and watching TV after a long day of work.

Well, that's about it for now, as I need to finish my lunch, err supper, whatever. Just don't know what to call it...

Just too busy lately...

2007-07-29T21:36:12Z

*Stares at computer that hasn't been used in good while*

Ok, it's been too long. I need to post something.

*Blows dust off computer*

*Cough* I don't think I should have done that...*Cough*

* * * * * * * *

So as most of you have noticed, I haven't updated it a good while. Well, I have a few reasons why it's been so long.

I finally moved! Yep, I'm out of my parents' house and Grafton. Since I'm working in Grand Forks, I decided to get a place in GF. I'm still not fully moved in yet since I still have a good deal of organization to do, but I'm trying to get as much done as I can.
I have a new job! I'm now working at Amazon.com in GF as a Seller Support Associate. Basically, I help answer any and all questions that any third party sellers of the site may have. So far it's a great job that has been challenging my brain a good deal (and that's a good thing)! It's 40 hour a week job, which I need to pay off all my bills (especially now that I have rent). Canad was only giving me 30 hours a week and I just wasn't making enough.
The first two weekends of July I was finishing up with my job at Canad Inns. Working in the gift shop was just not for me at all. And since I started working full-time at Amazon on July 9th, I worked 8 hours each day from July 6th to July 20th! I'm still trying to catch up! No way I'm ever going to do that again!
Last weekend, I was in Grafton sending time with my nephew! He's staying for a few weeks with my parents and I just had to see him since I just miss him so much. Also, my godparents were in town last weekend, so I had to see them as well (and get some good food from off the grill).

Alright, it's almost closing time at the library, and I have to go get some groceries and some other stuff. Yeah, I don't have internet at home yet, but I need to save my money before I can get high-speed (what can ya do)...

VOTE FOR PAT!

2007-07-02T03:47:05Z

Alright, so Justin Morneau got selected for the All-Star Game along with Torii Hunter and Johan Santana. Justin and Torii won't start, but no doubt they will play.

And for the second year in a row, a Twins pitcher is up for the Final Vote! That's right! So now I need everyone to vote for the Twins nasty side-arm reliever, Pat Neshek!

If you've never seen Neshek pitch, you're missing out on a dying art in baseball. You really don't see side-armers much anymore, but when you do, they are just plain nasty! Just check Nesheck out in this video from when he was still in the minors! I sure wouldn't want to face him!

So, now that you have proof that's he's AMAZING, go...
VOTE FOR PAT!
Just click on Pat's picture!

You have until 5 PM Central on Thursday, July 5th, so make sure to get your votes in by then!

Oh, and while you're at it, check out Pat's blog at www.patneshek.com!

VOTE FOR JUSTIN!

2007-06-20T04:08:31Z

Well, it's that time of year again! Time to vote your favorite Twins into the All-Star Game (why it's in San Fran, I don't know...Bonds don't need any more publicity)! You've got ten days to do it, so you better hurry and get your 25 votes in as soon as you can!

This year, Justin Morneau is leading the pack for the Twins, currently in 2nd Place for 1st Basemen. And he deserves to get in, let alone start! I mean, he won the AL MVP last year, he's on a pace to hit over 30 home runs again (maybe 40 this year, heck 50), and he can't be beat with his defense in the field. Then again ladies, he's awful cute, too! And if you're Canadian, why wouldn't you vote for a local boy? It only makes sense!

So do me a favor, click on his picture and...

Vote For Justin!

You only have ten days left to do it!

P.S. Sorry for the lack of updates lately. I've been busy with work and it doesn't leave me much time at home on the internet. But I'm looking for a different job and moving down to Grand Forks next month, so for sure two hours of my day will open up for me.

Yeah, it's my birthday...

2007-05-09T03:31:29Z

But it's not that big of a deal to me anymore. Basically what I'm saying is that I don't really care if I have to do anything big for my birthday anymore.

I really didn't do much today. I was able to sleep in late since I was given the day off (I just looooooove sleeping in), but I had to get my driver's license renewed, so I couldn't sleep all day. So I got up, watched some TV and ate something, then headed down to the DMV. Wasn't fun there since three women with four or five children less than two years old came in and that place was loud not only because of the kids, but the women wouldn't shut up!

Then I came home, watched some more TV, checked my e-mail and chatted online for a bit. My mom and brother came home after school and we talked a bit before my mom wanted me to get some groceries. She kept bugging me to decide on dinner before I left though since I could choose the meal tonight; I didn't decide until after I came back from the store mainly because I really didn't care about going out tonight. I did however buy some chips and dip and some brownies from the bakery that were so yummy so it would be a little more special.

Now I'm just relaxing as I have to work in the morning (grrrr) and it's getting a little boring to drive to GF everyday. But I'll make sure to watch a little of Letterman and maybe a bit of Conan (which I never get to watch anymore :( pooh) or Shin-Chan, either would be fine with me.

As for the presents, I really don't need any this year. My parents have been helping me out since I finished college and they've done so much for me I don't need anything more. I mean, I would love to have a new cellphone or video camera, but those can wait. For now I'm happy with what I've got and so should you.

Wal-Mart in Grafton? Hell no...

2007-04-29T21:04:28Z

Yes, this rumor happens to be true and was just talked about in the Grand Forks Herald. You can read the article here.

First off, yes Marvin's is the biggest employer in the region, but they always have trouble finding employees. They are always looking for people and they don't seem to find enough. So most likely if we did have a Wal-Mart, there wouldn't be enough employees to keep it going, especially if it is a 24-hour store (Grafton Square has a hard time getting employees and they are open 24/7).

Second, we just aren't big enough for a Wal-Mart. 4200 and falling when it comes to your census. And the towns around us don't seem to be getting any bigger either. Thief River Falls has the casino and the tech college, and Crookston has a college as well, so it's a no-brainer that Wal-Mart would build in those places. Dilworth, MN has one, but it's right next door to Moorhead which is home to 3 colleges. Now, I do shop at Wal-Mart from time to time when I'm in Grand Forks, but they are big enough to support a store that big. We just don't have enough people living here at any time of the year to support a Wal-Mart.

Third, a Wal-Mart in Grafton would further shut down more of our local businesses. Alco, Family Dollar, and/or Pamida may have to close because they just wouldn't be able to compete with Wal-Mart. If it's a Super Wal-Mart, Wally's would have a hard time keeping up with them. But other businesses would be feel the heat as well. We could lose some of the shops downtown that specialize in jewelery or clothing. Heck, some of the places that do tires or oil changes might be threatened if Wal-Mart brings in a big automotive center.

Fourth, crime would go up in Grafton. The Wal-Marts in Fargo and Dilworth are known for their high rate of shoplifters, as are others in many different towns across the country. It's so easy to steal clothing, food, and other merchandise from Wal-Mart since no one really watches for shoplifters there. Sure they have security cameras there, but have you ever seen a security officer at a Wal-Mart? I've seen them at Target and K-Mart before, but never at Wal-Mart. Plus, I don't think the employees at Wal-Mart are properly trained to spot a shoplifter compared to other stores. After awhile the police are going to get tired of responding to the store all the time such a tiny thing like shoplifting and we just can't have that happening.

So Wal-Mart just wouldn't be a good fit for Grafton. What would be a good fit for us would be another grocery store. I did hear a rumor that Hugo's in Grand Forks was thinking about opening up in the old Denny's building and that would be a good store to come into town. They would give Wally's some good competition, but not too much as to shut Wally's down. So think about it a bit. Hopefully you'll see that Wal-Mart just isn't a good fit for our small town.

Don't Pump Gas On May 15th!

2007-04-24T16:44:09Z

Ok, this is an event that is buzzing around Facebook and some other social group sites as well. I'm going to try my hardest to do it, even if the prices don't go down a bit. Besides, I'm doing it more for the environment than to bring the prices down (yes, I consider myself somewhat of an environmentalist). But if this was done more often, I think we would see some results.

Below is the description of the event on Facebook:

DON'T PUMP GAS ON MAY 15th 2007!!!

**********************************************

~~~THEN~~~
In April 1997, there was a "gas out" that was conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices.
Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight.

**********************************************

~~~NOW~~~
It's time to put our foot down, once again!!!

(OPTION 1):
On May 15th 2007, all myspace & facebook members are to not go to the gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places. There are 72,110,073 (approx.) members currently on the network, and the average car takes about 20 to 30 dollars to fill up. If all myspace & facebook members did not go to the pump on the 15th it would take $2,163,302,190.00 (approx.) out of the oil company's pockets for just one day.

(OPTION 2):
And, if you don't like the thought of protesting ALL gas for just ONE DAY, there is ANOTHER WAY to help in our protest to lower gas prices.
Here is the idea:

For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers. So, we need as many people possible to participate!!!
**********************************************

*NOTE: Don't judge this so quickly: This is NOT an attempt on trying to cut-back the economy! This is just a simple protest to just "wake-up" the gas companies, and let them know wer're outraged at the prices. (I mean, come on- everyone KNOWS people can't go more than a day or two without ANY gas anyway.) It's OBVIOUS it wont make a huge dent in the RIDICULOUS gas prices... WE KNOW THIS, but if we can somehow use this group to promote awareness, we can all collectively make a difference, and let the oil companies know we're TIRED of being ROBBED!

And if you're an environmentalist: This also has another good effect, because if we can use this to encourage people to take means of public transportation, I'm SURE it'll have a good effect on the environment!
**********************************************

If you agree (which, I REALLY can't see why you wouldn't)- TELL EVERYONE TO DO THE SAME!!!

--- AND IF YOU DON'T AGREE: JUST DON'T PARTICIPATE- NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOUR SMART A** COMMENTS.---

The main reason I'm going to do this is because we need to end our dependency on oil here in America, not so much that the price of gas is too high, which it is. We need to start using cleaner burning fuels like ethanol or hydrogen, or more people need to drive hybrids or flex fuel cars.

I myself used public transportation all during college, and while the bus system in Fargo/Moorhead isn't the greatest, it got me to where I needed to go. Where I live now doesn't have a public transportation system, but I can get around quite well on my bike if I have to. I was able to get to work, go to the grocery store, even hang out at the mall once and awhile. So don't put down public transportation until you try it and don't mock it until you've tried it more than once. It takes some getting used to, but once you know it you just might use it more.

And yes, I also had a bike when I was in college. I would ride it to class in high school and college, or to run errands, or to just get some exercise. Seriously, the bike is amazing and more people should ride. But if you don't like to, then walk, rollerblade, or skateboard. They are all ways to save the environment, plus they get you where you're going and improves your health.

So my point is this: use this day to help save a little bit of the environment rather than trying to save a little bit of cash.

What to do...What to do with my life...

2007-04-16T05:03:02Z

You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what exactly am I going to do with my life, and there are many reasons why I've been thinking about this. For one thing, I don't think I'm going to be working as a gift shop attendant for the rest of my life, but in the short term it'll work. But that's not the only thing I have to think about.

I think the most important thing would have to be my education. I never thought that after I finished college that I wouldn't be able to find a job in my field, but I didn't expect to want to stay in this area of the country either. I really wanted to stay in Fargo-Moorhead for about a year after I graduated (working at McD's so I would at least have some money) and work on finding a job. See, I would have the resources of the film department at MSUM if I was still in the FM area, like my professors and the rest of the film community there. But here in Grafton (you could add Grand Forks as well), there isn't much of a film community. Yes, Grand Forks does have a film festival each year, but most of the film are student-made, completely different than the Fargo Film Fest, which attracts filmmakers from all around the world. But somehow, my passion for film has waned a bit and I might want to go in another direction.

I do know that I would love to go back to college one day (after I've paid off a good deal of my current college loans and have the money for it), but I would do it a little different than what I had to do to get my first degree. I wouldn't mind doing correspondence, and I wouldn't do full-time either. I need to be able to do my schooling at a different pace, putting my job before it so I don't end up flat broke on the streets or forever living with my parents.

Of course I would have to choose another field to go into because I really don't want to get a Masters in film. I've thought about Graphic Design, but I feel that I just don't know enough about computers and the programs they use to be able to get a degree in that (nor the artistic ability [and yes, I'm not that artistic]). I've also thought of some of the more traditional programs, like history or sociology, but then I might have to become a teacher and I would only do that at the college level. But I think the one I would really like to go into would be Marketing with an emphasis on Advertising. I know a thing or two about advertising from some of the work I did for my film degree, so I think it would be a good pick for me. Plus, I took Marketing in high school during my senior year and I wished that I could take more of it (yeah, I liked it that much).

Even though I am young, I feel like I need to rush on some of this stuff. But I'm trying to take it slow. For example, I'm almost 24 and I just got my first car (most kids from Grafton get a car before they are 16, many when they get their license at 14). Another example would be the fact that I've never had a boyfriend (believe, the man of my dreams is out there somewhere). I've got time to figure more of this stuff out. Heck, I may move back to Fargo and I may want to find a job in the Film/TV field, or I just might stay here and work at Canad for several years, maybe even moving up in the ranks. The thing is that I just don't know and I've got time.

Job + Car = Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

2007-04-06T21:36:40Z

So everyone by now knows that I've got a new job at the new Canad Inns in Grand Forks. And you know that I'm going to start on April 9th and I'm going to be working in the gift shop. But not all of you know about the other big thing in my life right now, and that just happens to be my car.

Ok, so it isn't the greatest car in the world, but it's a car and it's my first one. It's a 1997 Olds Achieva and it's pretty nice. It's a 4 door with plenty of space, plus it's my favorite color (love that green). I drove it home from the dealership and it's a pretty smooth ride on the highway, as well as in town. So you know what I'll be asking for my birthday next month (and it's not specialty plates; my dad told me I couldn't get them right now).

But now that I have a car, it's only another expense that I have to deal with. I had to get a loan from the bank to pay for it, so that will be a payment each month for the next few years. Then I have my insurance for the car each month, but I got a good deal on that. Of course I have my student loans as well, so most of my paycheck will be going to all of these things for the next couple of months. It's a good thing I don't have rent right now or I would be in debt in no time.

Of course, this is what worries me. I don't want to be in debt, especially since I've seen people I know go through debt before. It really scares me to not be able to provide for myself. My mom keeps telling me that if I ever get in trouble with all my payments that her and dad would be there to help, but I don't want to be dependent on them for the rest of my life. If they keep helping me out (not to mention keep helping my sister out as well), they're not going to be able to retire!

Yeah, money is great to have, but when you always have to give it up for one thing or another, it isn't the greatest thing in the world. I really hope that the next few months will go well and I won't be in debt at all. Because if I do go into debt, I don't know if my mind will be able to handle it at all.

Got Some News For Ya'll...

2007-03-29T06:13:59Z

First off, how great is it that spring is finally here? I so glad to see all the snow melt away and the grass below starting to sprout up again. It's so awesome to drive around town with the windows down and the wind in your hair. My cat Bjorn is even enjoying the warmer temps, as he now has to go outside at least twice a day now (and if he doesn't get to, he let's ya know). Hopefully my dad can get my bike ready soon so one day I can drive down to the drive-in when it opens up and get some ice cream. Oh, and I can't wait for the cherry blossoms to bloom! It's so pretty when they finally bloom (hope it's around my B-day). But the best thing is that I don't need to wear that bulky winter coat again until October/November (I hope; please let's not have a blizzard in April).

Sorry about all the rambling, but I just love spring! But that's enough for now.

Ok, moving on to the update...

I'm finally employed! I got offered and accepted the position of Gift Shop Attendant at the new Canad Inns in Grand Forks. So yeah, I get to sell you all those trinkets that say "North Dakota", "UND" or "Grand Forks" on them (not to mention anything that the hotel might have with their name on it). I really would have liked to get a front desk position (they make more money to start with), but if I can move to that position or something else that might be better, then I might as well try this job out. I start my training (and maybe setting up the shop as well) on April 9th, so I'm getting excited! It's going to feel so good to be back in the workforce.
I'm still looking for a car, and since I'm going to be commuting from Grafton to GF until fall comes, I'm going to need one. I saw and drove a nice Olds Achieva in GF last week, but they are asking a little too much for it and they don't negotiate prices (at least that is what they told us). So I might be heading down to Fargo/Moorhead later this week to check out the selection there. I know I may be able to find something better there since it is a bigger car market. All I know is that I'm going to have to wait until I can get my dream hybrid.
I'm getting a little bummed out about all the payments I'm going to be having for awhile. I'm going to have to have a loan for the car I'm going to get (luckily, I've been to the bank already and got approved by myself), not to mention those student loans as well. I just don't want to end up like my sister and have too many payments and not being able to handle them all (even though my mom keeps telling me that she and dad will help out if that ever happens, but I just don't want it to).

Well, that's all I've got for now. I've got to get to bed; I've got a meeting tomorrow and I can't be late for it (nor do I want to be). Ta ta for now!

Randomness Part III

2007-03-23T01:45:26Z

I've gotten my dad hooked on IMDB. Now, after almost any movie and/or TV show he watches, he has to find out something really little about it.

I was voted "Most Likely To Be Remembered" in high school. More like "Least Likely" if you ask me...

My cat likes to keep warm. He does this by sitting on top of the computer monitor.

I don't mind it, but I wish I didn't have to drive my mom's van, and not just because it's a van.

I don't know what I want for my birthday this year.

I sprained my ankle at Cashwise in Moorhead, MN after slipping in some water by a freezer. I'm still trying to decide if I should sue them.

I do believe all the hype surrounding the number 23. Seriously, have you looked into it?

I think I'm becoming addicted to 80s music and I don't know if this is a good thing, or a bad thing.

My new sunglasses fog up every time I put them on. They aren't the easiest to drive in.

When I wash dishes, I get myself soaked in water. Thus, I really don't like washing dishes.